MARRIAGE AND THE IDEAL PARTNER
“Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate”, Mat.19:6
In this world we may come to find whatever God has joined sticking together still, just as we may find together whatever it was not God who put together. We may also find apart what God has joined together and find together what it was God who separated. God separated light from darkness, yet Christians do all to get it together again in church and elsewhere, mixing the gospel with the world’s ways and, for convenience’s sake, reading the Bible and praying before worldly events take place, bringing the church to the world and the world to the church. We saw God separating Judah from Samaria due to Salomon’s sins and we see a godly king, Jehoshaphat, going to the extreme point of defiling himself to put it together again. He even married his own son to Jezebel’s daughter. He almost destroyed the seed towards Christ, and were not an eight year old spared from murder, he would have. It was God who separated Judah from Samaria and none should put it together again, not even for Israel’s sake. For the same reason one may never try to put darkness and light together in the same marriage for marriage’s sake alone.
If people were not made to learn responsibility and to be actively responsible in God alone, they would not be said to be in need to be in a certain state of heart which can hear God speak once He speaks. Enoch went to heaven because he managed to walk with God as he walked – he did not walk with God as he did not walk, neither did he walk without God. His whole life was a gift from God and he walked accordingly. People get married in God because they walk with the Shepherd. People must be sheep first to hear the voice of God. If they hear not, it does not mean the Shepherd is not speaking – He might be speaking in another wave length or depth, just as radios have different waves to transmit their messages. In the same way, we must be sheep to hear God, for God is already God and Shepherd and He even gave His life for them since ever. Sheep alone hear the voice of God easily.
It is most essential that people are made able to hear God concerning marriage as well, if they are sheep indeed – not only about their partner and who it might be, but also about the whole of it and the wisdom and the Life concerning it all in the whole. But, if one can’t hear God touching anything else, how will we catch up with God’s whisper in God’s wave length concerning marriage, if we are not made sheep for real inside? Sheep care about God, not about marriage. Marriage is always a strong matter in the heart of mankind, and therefore, one should all the more be made fit and able to rather hear from God about it as well. It is so strong that people even go against getting married because they so desperately want to get married. They deceive themselves by saying they do not want to get married for their own excusing and encouragement’s sake. Strong feelings about things always create extremists to the one side or even to the other side – for or against their feelings about the matter, whatever they are. The priests and monks refuse marriage because they could never deal against lust itself. That’s why they rape little children after being priests.
We may marry by commandment if we are unwilling to marry, then, or we may do so through promise if we desire after it in some way after all. But, all marriages wrought by God have His personal stamp and seal and way, by which we come to distinguish them. If we really can hear God concerning it or anything else without being own-minded towards or against one way or another, His marriages have always aspects and virtues different from the world’s. By law of the natural man, he or she keeps looking for the ideal person which will make or create the real match. As far as that, in all truth, people in the world don’t even manage to live by their own standards, those by which they deceive themselves, I mean, about the ideal partner, because they are so hungry for sex, care and touching that they usually grab the first or the second one that comes along (if they are not fearful enough to loose the chance of getting married to the first one, they will wait and look for the second one). They so desperately want it that they even believe it was God who put them together, so as to have reason to get married against conscience, somehow. But, because God really speaks about something we easily fear to loose upon, we should learn to wait on God and expect from Him alone whatever way He shall be able to lead us to, since it may be an issue which easily defiles and misleads our feelings and hearts by blurring them because we feel a need and urge to have the unbelieving heart rather deceived to be fulfilled.
Nevertheless, the world states there is an ideal person. The Bible says there is no ideal person but we, if we walk with and through God alone. We are the ones made and commanded to become the ideal person, not the partner we might be looking for. We are the ones who should become holy and acquainted with the virtues and ways which any holy marriage or any other holy deed or work requires from any of us, at any time whatsoever – whether our husband or wife is holy or not. We may not believe, either, we will change as soon as we get married. In times of need, it just shows what kind of hearts we may possess. An impatient person to get married will reveal himself impatient against his partner after marriage because impatience is there and son finds another object to manifest itself upon. We see that the people who complained and gowned under the rule of Pharaoh, while God knew them and visited them, were the same ones who complained and murmured against God later on. Liberty did not change them and God intended that the desert should be a changing journey, even if it was to no avail. Marriage will not change a heart, will never do away with lust or impatience, because those sins are settled in the heart of man who is willing to keep and nurture them – a heart will go with a man wherever he might go. Even after death, the only thing he will take along with him is the heart he has. If there is no lust before marriage, then, after it there will be a sound relationship in those involved and evolving in it. It is a sheep who lives a sheep’s way.
Shall we, then, forsake marriage because we find out by God that we are selfish or unholy concerning it before marrying, somehow? No, obviously not. We may just change the heart and whatever gift God is able to grant will be glorifying and holy. Hannah wanted a child badly because people thought her to be bad and cursed. She was mocked and made selfish concerning childbearing, but, as she prayed she perceived she could give that child to God forever. God needed a child like that as well (Samuel), because Israel was in a bad spiritual state at that specific time. She did not give up on the child, but on the heart she may have had about that child which she could not have for herself. She saved many in Israel by changing her heart and by keeping the request for a child. The law of God demands “an eye for an eye” and whatever one would do for oneself, one must be made able to carry it out for God. “Do not yield your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but yield yourselves to God”, Rom 6:13.
Concerning marriage, business, work or money, we may come to do the same thing: we may offer it all unto God for God’s use and appointed serving ahead and forever with no need to sell it, give up on it for the sake of God (unless we are told to do so) or throw it away. Women, try bowing down to God and promise Him that you will live as you ought in a married life so God may use your marriage as a mirror for the sake of His glory to be made an example to the young girls around, who will hear about you and your godly cares towards your God given husband. Men, vow and ask God to make you the ideal husband above anything else, and see to it that your marriage becomes the ideal aid and tool towards people who know not what they are doing, even if your marriage is not like that yet, and even if there is none else in the world who does it as you are made able to do and carry out soon. “Whatever you do, do it for the Lord”. But, you who bow and vow to God, hoping upon His timing and grace, make sure you will have a heart God sees will fulfil what you promised to do as you promised to do, or else you will be blamed and be held accountable instead of fully blessed. Hannah gave the child to God once she got it, just as she promised she would do. Do not become slack once you got the desires of your heart granted by the Lord.
It is a shameful thing that Christianity learns out of time to preach to others when the Lord expressly says “The kingdom of heaven is compared to a man who sowed good seed in his (own) field”, Mat.13:24,31. If preachers would only preach to themselves, if they would confess their own sins openly, their hearers would follow their example and would learn how to preach to themselves as well and would easily stop gossiping in church about others’ sins and rather reveal theirs or leave. If husbands will only bow down to change themselves, I am sure woman will be made woman again as God wants them to be for a change and vice-versa. Any child that will work hard on his own knees to change himself will set a pattern towards any other change at home. Become the ideal partner and God will bless you with someone who fits with you in a holy match. Find out what the Bible has to say about it all, as it says, and do not take your mother or your culture as an sentimental example to live by, nor add unto or take from any of the words of God. But let your partner come from God for sure, or it will not work out as you would wish it should. Amen.