“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you”, Ps.37:4; Mat 6:33
There is no question that God is the supreme desire of any natural being – each and everyone of them has been created to be able to lodge and to delight in God, and not only to delight, but to have Him as the only possible delight ever. People may have whatever they wish to have, still that emptiness within will only be intensified by the day if never filled by the Spirit for which a central and nuclear room and place was created in all beings in the Universe. Nothing will ever fill it. Only stones need not be filled – we need it badly.
If this delight (the Lord) were the only motive to make people seek God and His righteousness right through, one would already be happy concerning it. Another factor remains still, which is, that this Spirit is Life itself as well. So, we as people are made to delight when having filled measures of Life from within – not only be filled, but rather filled with the right and proper Tree of Life from deep within and having it overflow to immediate locations of our whole being and surroundings (in some cases surroundings of thousands of miles around). It is not only delight, but it is Life itself as well, for oneself and for all others around us – the only Life there is. It is a good thing that we desire yes, but above all, that we are able to desire after Life. (This is why I firmly believe people who desire after sin still, desire something against their own created nature. These sinful beings desire after death and what kills as well. This is what makes sin so despicable and intensively horrible and laden with irreversible guilt all along. But the sinner will be judged more for it than the sin itself).
But, even if our cup overflows, one should never have a decrease of desire to be able to keep delighting in the Lord alone and go crave after the new found happiness instead of after the Lord. It was the Israelites who held on to the manna as if it would end. But, the Lord never ends even when we are able to use all manna up for a change. If we cause someone to delight in the Lord, also, let such have his own portion by himself and let’s carry on with the Lord who brings the delight along with Him and forget about the delight. Not even this kind of delight should rob God of His full portion and throne. We need not any kind of delight: we need the Lord Himself. In Him we should be able to delight ourselves fully and unconditionally all the time.
It is not easy to delight fully and only in the way which, alone, brings its reward along with Him. If we take it that the Lord Who we know fills our emptiest spots, Him alone and none else, quite often comes unto us and is wilfully presented unto us as undesirable, weak, fragile according to worldly pride, standards and principles, we might have more reason to persevere towards the right goal all along. “For He comes up as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground; He has neither form nor majesty that we should see Him, nor an appearance that we should desire Him”, Is.53:2. This is still all true today. We should never seek delight in delighting, but in Him alone – right through. Yet, He looks often as something to be despised and unpromising, no gain attached to seeking but Him that way Isaiah describes Him – and this for real, there being no real, visible gain. By being fully and unconditionally able to take delight in Him as He is, or as He is often presented unto us (because He might be presented just as a powerful, awesome King to be feared too, something we do not desire after either), one has a heart to take in His gifts without having them wanting to be settled in the heart in God’s stead, by robbing Him of His space, time and the means He uses.
I often wondered why, many times, we are taken through hills and desperate situations once we know some things are the will of God for us (or others). I mean, God tells and shows us what His will is and it so happens that everything contradicts it fully from then on, many times bringing holy people to a point of despair and into that agony of doubt. The reason for that is so easy to see I felt bad not having seen it before the way I see it now. God charges us with some kind of prophecy, revealed will or even something we will easily and promptly believe because it comes from Him (and not any other way at all). Then, as if it is something impossible we are charged with, things just begin to crack down and crumble after that first honeymoon moment, starting to look desperate and impossible to get at and to reach the way we thought we would and were told to go and do accordingly. This is where many cease to pray, giving up on something they should continually and unceasingly offer prayer for. These things are often the mote and the means to lead us to God, to cause us to seek His face through them – to get to Him over those things, those being made as bridges to Him. This delay and trying season is only meant to take those things from our hearts beforehand, to make an end to the means we are used to to reach unto them, so once they come, God will still remain on His inner throne as the only king, settler and abider. By the time they come, we have changed fully for seeking against hope changes and reshapes us. By ceasing to pray we grieve the Holy Spirit since the things we are to reach at are the very things which will disappoint us to the point of having both the Lord as well as the reward which comes with Him in such a way and pattern that will never rob God of being King of all our means, minds and hearts still, after coming. The disappointment turns it possible to have them, since none desires to have something which hurts the thought of mind. And once one takes it in and is not hurt by it, self is surely dead. To delight in God, self must not be there to be delighted upon anymore.
The desires this verse in Ps.37 talks about, is never a selfish, ungodly one. They take resemblance and shape from the One in Whom we take our delight from. To delight in the Lord and have opposite desires which are not in full accordance to God, is just unthinkable, to say the least. We cannot but desire after such things as the Lord, in whom we take our full delight, and with which He is fully settled and delightfully at home with. Those holy desires and goodies are often the ones which are to be the only kind of desires of our hearts. As hard as it is to desire after holy things without feign then, only after such, imagine how hard and just how narrow the way is by going even as far as taking delight above those very things, in the Lord alone and above all – and that not only most of the time, but eternally and without ceasing.
Hope your desires are able to lead you to a Lord in Whom you are able to delight yourself fully with. The desires will be added unto you, if you are able to delight in Him naturally, especially when you are as you are, when being yourself and still being able to do so that way. But, the Lord alone will remain as the main source to all delight of your whole being. We read that His reward comes with Him. If He is the one we seek after the way He is, homeless, poor and seemingly distant so He should have nothing to be desired after besides Himself, empty of things and attributes which we know He has, then the reward will be ours to be ministered by Him since our heart has found in Him the only delight there is for any created being: to be with its Creator, in full harmony and in such a way that no reward whatsoever will ever again hinder God to be God in the heart - and not only in heaven or earth - all the time. Amen.